Entry Eleven
Do you know the moments when you have to dig deep for motivation? You wish you could hire someone to find it for you, wrap it in a bow, and then throw a party for its big reveal? If only. Luckily, (and obnoxiously) we don’t need to be motivated to show up for ourselves.
Being accountable for myself when no one is depending on me, especially a company, has never come easily. I think of myself as incredibly determined and solution oriented, but somewhere along the way I learned that doing it for myself wasn’t always reason enough. I don’t think I am alone in that. Do you reject yourself in the same way? So many of us fear “rejection” but we deny ourselves our own potential.
This week I began creating more structure for Fundamental Hunger even though I couldn’t see or feel a reason to. That protective voice came in and whispered that I need someone or something else to make my ideas great. But that isn’t true. The 90 Days of Belonging entry below is brief, but crisp. It is exactly what I needed to recite to myself today. It’s okay if you aren’t inspired right now. But for me, I no longer want to let my lull flatten my vision or create excuses to stay small. I don’t need to wait for a calamity to prompt a turning point. I hope you won’t either.
March 13th, 2022:
What if I never achieve the things I envision for myself, is not a question that deserves anymore of my attention. It is a race to the bottom. The more empowering question is, what happens if I don’t keep trying? What will happen if I delay being seen? No matter how many times I fall, I have more to lose by not continuing to take risks. I have taken risks for other people for most of my life. For a company, a friend, a job title, you name it. When I have bet on myself, my incentive was for something or someone else. My solutions and ideas were reserved for others.
I have also realized that I don’t need to depend on a rock bottom to make a change. I don’t need to reinforce my need to survive, by showing up big when I’m at my lowest. What if that drama isn’t necessary? What if grand things can come from a neutral place, or an abundant place? My power does not only lie within the magnitude of my pain. Nothing comes to save you simply because you have reached a new low. You save yourself when you decide. Which leads me to think, what if there is nothing I need to be rescued from in the first place? Feeling like you need to be rescued makes it seem like there is not much left to salvage. There is always more than enough to begin anew. I never want to leave parts of me behind, I simply hope that I can shift them into a higher expression the next time around.
Journal prompts:
Are you typically motivated only when you have reached a new low? How have you benefited from this, and how is it no longer serving you?
Who or what have you taken a risk for? Have you taken a similar risk for your own dreams?
Are you currently hoping for something or someone to save you from where you are now? After being “saved” where exactly do you see yourself? How does it feel?
If you believed you had all of the answers within you, what risk would you take today?
How is your 90 Days of Belonging? Leave a voicemail here:
Better Call Salwa: 347-903-7057
In the meantime, invest in yourself lavishly.